Fear of deprivation

     One of concerns that my patients have is that once they change their eating habits, certain foods will become forbidden, and they will constantly feel deprived of these foods. This fear leads to the "last supper" phenomenon that precedes a diet. The thought is, "I will never be allowed to eat donuts again, so I better get them all in now before they become banned in my next diet." In reality, the idea of prohibited foods is a concept we create ourselves. The extension of that thought, that deprivation is inevitable, is also self-created. 

    I would like to point out the fallacies in both statements. First, we do not have to outlaw foods. I am not even talking about promoting the "everything in moderation" theory. I am simply talking about the black and white/all or nothing thinking that goes into banning foods. The "never again" mindset. Regarding the fear feeling deprived, there are a few other possibilities. Some of that fear stems from the fact we decide foods are forbidden. It is human nature to want what is not allowed. Easing up on the rules can help us avoid the feeling of deprivation. Additionally, there are other helpful and more accurate thoughts we can have. Perhaps a more accurate thought might be, "Let's see what happens if I have oatmeal for breakfast today instead of a donut. I don't need to make plans for the rest of my life right now. I am just deciding about right now" Or the thought could be, "I want to eat a donut when I can really enjoy it, like on a relaxed Sunday morning when I can sit down and savor the taste. Now I am rushing to work and will scarf it down and barely taste it." Or the thought can be, "I would like to sit down and enjoy a donut now. Not because I earned it or because I was good. But because right now I am choosing to eat and enjoy a donut." 

    Remember, knowing these ideas does not immediately translate into feeling and living these ideas. It takes a lot of effort, practice, and reminding ourselves of the perspective we prefer to have. Bumps in the road towards this are just moments to notice what happened. Each new moment is a new opportunity that does not have to depend on the past.